Hey girl! If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve been through the rollercoaster of emotions that often comes with a breakup and a broken heart.
But guess what?
You have the incredible power to turn this challenging time into an opportunity for self-discovery, growth, and yes, self-love.
If you are, where I once was, looking to get back to yourself once your relationship has ended, then this blog will give you some helpful advice on how to love yourself after a breakup.
Are you ready?
8 Ways To Start Loving Yourself After a Breakup
Feel All the Feels
I understand that it’s not easy to let go of a relationship you invested your time, effort, and energy into, only to have it fall apart one day.
Breakups can be tough, and it’s okay to grieve.
The first step towards overcoming a breakup is to allow yourself to feel the sadness, anger, and confusion. Emotions, even negative emotions, are natural and valid and an important part of the healing process. Give yourself permission to feel everything that comes up so you can let it go and eventually move on.
Rediscover Your Passions
Remember those things you used to love before the relationship?
One reason why people feel utterly broken after a breakup is because they invested too much of their self-identity into the relationship. Did you merge your life with your exes forgetting about your own needs? (I did.)
The most destructive thing you can do after a breakup is neglect yourself. Avoid spending all your precious time
- trying to get them back
- changing things about yourself in order to make them like you
- looking for closure
- testing out manipulating tactics in hopes of getting them back (Forget about pressing the block button. It won’t work.)
… and start focusing on you
Honestly, that relationship isn’t your last and it probably was never meant to be “the one” and the sooner you embrace this truth, the better.
Take it from someone who has literally “been there, done that.”
After experiencing a string of abusive and controlling relationships, I met the man of my dreams (literally), moved to Barcelona three months later, and now have a beautiful family with a man who treats me like a princess.
Now is the perfect time to have fun, spend time with and get to know yourself, and dive back into those neglected passions. Reconnecting with your passions can remind you of your individuality, HELP YOU FEEL LIKE YOURSELF AGAIN, and bring a sense of fulfillment. It’s the little things that count.
Practice Self-Compassion
Imagine talking to your best friend after a breakup. You’d be kind, understanding, and compassionate, right? Treat yourself the same way.
If you engage in negative self-talk, shift towards a kinder inner dialogue. “I am good enough.” “I deserve love.” “I deeply love myself.” “I will overcome this.”
Practice being patient with yourself. Healing takes time. Remind yourself that you can forgive yourself. There’s no use in being hard on yourself for not getting over the breakup faster.
Focus on Your Growth
My breakup ultimately led to my biggest leap in personal growth.
While you take the time to rediscover yourself, identify areas for personal development. Take this chance to work on yourself and develop new healthy habits. Set new goals, learn new skills, and invest in becoming the best version of yourself.
Breakups can leave you feeling like you’ve lost part of yourself. But this moment also provides a unique opportunity to reconnect with the person you were before—or even redefine who you want to be moving forward.
Start by reflecting on what brings you joy. Was there a hobby, goal, or interest you set aside during the relationship? Reintroduce it into your life. Take small but consistent steps—sign up for that yoga class, revisit painting, or finally plan that solo trip.
Use our list of 200 hobbies to help rekindle an old hobby or explore new ones.
Next, redefine your values and what you want from life. Who do you want to be? What type of life feels most aligned with your authentic self? Journaling, therapy, or even vision-boarding can help clarify these intentions.
Embrace this period of self-discovery as a chance to become the best version of yourself. The version of you that understands her own needs, makes decisions that are in alignment with her values, and sets boundaries when things aren’t going the way she hoped.
You can turn your pain into power.
Surround Yourself with Support
While asking for help may be challenging, it can be your lifeline when you’re feeling alone. Lean on your friends and family. They love you and want to see you thrive.
Don’t be afraid to share your feelings and let those around you support you at this difficult time. Sometimes, talking it out can be incredibly cathartic. Spend time with people who you know care.
Set Boundaries
If staying in touch with your previous partner is hindering your healing, consider setting boundaries or taking a break from contact.
Although it’s not easy, no contact allows you to create space for your own growth and mental health.
If your relationship wasn’t ideal, you can use what you’ve learned from it and set new standards for yourself, the people you date, and how they treat you.
When the time comes to start dating again, you can use these standards to make sure you’re in the type of relationship you’re excited to be in.
Self-Care Unleashed
Remember your self-care routine? Now is the time to take it up a notch.
Increasing self care can help your self esteem after a breakup.
When you put yourself first and cater to your own needs, you send a subconscious message that you are important and valuable.
After my breakup, my self care ritual looked a bit like; gym, come home and shower, do my skincare routine, pop some kettle corn, and get to journaling.
Here are a few self-care practices that you can implement into your routine.
- something you love
- something you need to improve on
- something that makes you feel good
- something to keep track of your progress
Engage in activities that nourish your body, mind, and soul. Care for your physical health, detox from social media.
Visualize Your Future
If you’re focusing on personal growth from here on out, consider practicing visualizing the incredible life you’re building for yourself.
What are your dreams and aspirations? What does your ideal relationship look like?
Visualize them with vivid detail, and let that vision motivate your self love journey.
Takeaway
As you embrace these steps with an open heart, remember that loving yourself is ultimately the goal when HEALING FROM A BREAKUP. I’m positive you can and will get over your past relationship. This chapter might be challenging, but it’s the first chapter of your story of remembering you. Give yourself credit every step of the way. You’re doing it.
With love and empowerment,
Destiny
